I want to tell you about a special day that you will never remember but I won't soon forget.
December 4th, 2014. It was a Thursday. Cold. Damp. Grey. We took your daddy to work and ran all sorts of errands. We visited your Auntie Sara (one of mama's longest friendships) and her office, sprinted to a meeting for a last minute photo shoot and raced to our lunch date with your dad. Soon after, you and I visited Auntie Jo & Uncle JT's new apartment in Germantown. You love their kitty Mila. I got called into work so we said our goodbyes and out we go again. We meet dad and head to Green Hills where I work. Your father is always trying to cheer me up when I'm down or help me relax if I'm stressed and this time was no different. He suggested milkshakes. Of course! The perfect remedy. That is, until you concocted one of the biggest explosion of toxic waste in your pants that was virtually everywhere..... 20 minutes before I had to go in. Aye yai yai, girlfriend. I was secretly very proud of you for not freaking out while I was cleaning you though. After I cleaned you from your upper back down to your toes, we sat and enjoyed 10 minutes of uninterrupted milkshake consumption. Then the time came for me to head to work and I was the most sad I had ever been. Mainly because all I wanted to do right then was bathe you, cuddle you and your daddy and watch the new episode of The Newsroom. Sigh.
While at work, I was talking to a girl I work with about getting engaged. When I think it will happen, how it will happen, etc. Suddenly it's 10:30pm and we are leaving the store and headed to the parking garage. You and your dad came to pick me up. I noticed Dad had you snug in your carseat in the car with the heater blowing while he was standing outside in the freezing cold. I found it odd but thought maybe he needed air. For whatever reason. We drove home and I began telling him about my hectic, eventful day.
We got home, he put you in bed and we plopped on the couch in the living room. He mentioned you were so sad, crying the entire way home. With tears. You don't cry tears unless you're really unhappy which isn't very often. He sat in traffic for a good while with you in tears and he suddenly felt thankful. I know. He's weird. Your dad told me that even though today was a crazy, stressful, messy, exhausting day, he was thankful for it. For you. For me. He loves his life with us. This day represents our lives in a way.
The story of us, your dad and me, is one for another time but it goes unsaid that our relationship has been everything but expected and planned. And that's beautiful. He went on to tell me even though these have been the most unpredictable, exhausting days he's known, he is the happiest and most thankful he has ever been. Yes, I'm in tears at this point. I'm so happy. I even say it to him. So relieved that he gets it. We aren't perfect. Our lives are not perfect. But we belong together. The three of us. He told me to release him from my death-grip hug so he could ask me something.....and it was THEN. I KNEW. I knew it was happening. I even said to myself, "this is happening! this is happening!" over and over again. He reached behind the pillow on the couch, bent down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Right there on the living room floor. And I said YES through tears and joy and laughter and smiles. Your father asked me to be his bride forever. We've been a family even before you were born. I have been sure of that. I have been sure of you. And sure of him. I'm sure of us.
This day was nothing glamorous or fancy but perfectly understated and beautiful. Raw. Organic. Real. Just the way I wanted.
I'm so happy that I'm your mother and so excited to be your daddy's wife. You may read this later and think how silly this is with all the mush and gush but it's so important. He is a wonderful man and I can't wait for you to get to know him even better as you grow up. He loves you and takes such good care of us. We are lucky to have him. Forever.
All My Love,
Mama
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