I'll Always Remember the 4th of December

My little darling,

I want to tell you about a special day that you will never remember but I won't soon forget.

December 4th, 2014. It was a Thursday. Cold. Damp. Grey. We took your daddy to work and ran all sorts of errands. We visited your Auntie Sara (one of mama's longest friendships) and her office, sprinted to a meeting for a last minute photo shoot and raced to our lunch date with your dad. Soon after, you and I visited Auntie Jo & Uncle JT's new apartment in Germantown. You love their kitty Mila. I got called into work so we said our goodbyes and out we go again. We meet dad and head to Green Hills where I work. Your father is always trying to cheer me up when I'm down or help me relax if I'm stressed and this time was no different. He suggested milkshakes. Of course! The perfect remedy. That is, until you concocted one of the biggest explosion of toxic waste in your pants that was virtually everywhere..... 20 minutes before I had to go in. Aye yai yai, girlfriend. I was secretly very proud of you for not freaking out while I was cleaning you though. After I cleaned you from your upper back down to your toes, we sat and enjoyed 10 minutes of uninterrupted milkshake consumption. Then the time came for me to head to work and I was the most sad I had ever been. Mainly because all I wanted to do right then was bathe you, cuddle you and your daddy and watch the new episode of The Newsroom. Sigh.

While at work, I was talking to a girl I work with about getting engaged. When I think it will happen, how it will happen, etc. Suddenly it's 10:30pm and we are leaving the store and headed to the parking garage. You and your dad came to pick me up. I noticed Dad had you snug in your carseat in the car with the heater blowing while he was standing outside in the freezing cold. I found it odd but thought maybe he needed air. For whatever reason. We drove home and I began telling him about my hectic, eventful day.

We got home, he put you in bed and we plopped on the couch in the living room. He mentioned you were so sad, crying the entire way home. With tears. You don't cry tears unless you're really unhappy which isn't very often. He sat in traffic for a good while with you in tears and he suddenly felt thankful.  I know. He's weird. Your dad told me that even though today was a crazy, stressful, messy, exhausting day, he was thankful for it. For you. For me. He loves his life with us. This day represents our lives in a way.

The story of us, your dad and me, is one for another time but it goes unsaid that our relationship has been everything but expected and planned. And that's beautiful. He went on to tell me even though these have been the most unpredictable, exhausting days he's known, he is the happiest and most thankful he has ever been.  Yes, I'm in tears at this point. I'm so happy. I even say it to him. So relieved that he gets it. We aren't perfect. Our lives are not perfect. But we belong together. The three of us.  He told me to release him from my death-grip hug so he could ask me something.....and it was THEN. I KNEW. I knew it was happening. I even said to myself, "this is happening! this is happening!" over and over again. He reached behind the pillow on the couch, bent down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Right there on the living room floor. And I said YES through tears and joy and laughter and smiles. Your father asked me to be his bride forever. We've been a family even before you were born. I have been sure of that. I have been sure of you. And sure of him. I'm sure of us.

This day was nothing glamorous or fancy but perfectly understated and beautiful. Raw. Organic. Real. Just the way I wanted.

I'm so happy that I'm your mother and so excited to be your daddy's wife. You may read this later and think how silly this is with all the mush and gush but it's so important. He is a wonderful man and I can't wait for you to get to know him even better as you grow up. He loves you and takes such good care of us. We are lucky to have him. Forever.


All My Love,
Mama

Half Birthday!

GEMMA! YOU ARE 6 MONTHS! GET OUTTA HERE!

My dear girl, how quickly half a year has passed us by. You're not a little newborn anymore and I've got the mom-arms to prove it. The past few months have been so full. You have traveled with me to Texas and California. You stayed in Nashville with Ammie for 5 days while your dad and I went on a trip to St. Augustine to see your Auntie Jo & Uncle JT get married. You handled formula while I was away like a champ. Dad got a new job that he loves in the film industry and I went back to work at night a few times a week. We've battled sickness, soreness and not enough sleep. And it's also been the best few months I've ever known. The three of us have grown closer than ever and I'm so proud of our little family. You are so sweet. You aren't picky about people- you love EVERYONE. Anyone can make you smile and laugh. If only you could understand how much joy and light you bring to everyone. Someday, I hope you will. 

Your Auntie Meg, Auntie Jo and Auntie Bree are officially "baby-hogs" and you love it. Auntie Bree can put you to sleep no matter what. Your Uncle Edwin (aka "Uncle Tio") has a special place in your little heart already. You love sitting with him while watching football. I think your first language will be spanish because that's all you ever hear from him.

You love selfies and watching videos of yourself. I think you think it's another baby. We will have to do something about that once you realize it's yourself!

You love carrots and avocado. NO BANANA. Just like your father. You always want to eat when we eat and what we are eating. You will chew and suck on anything, mostly your Sophie giraffe, because of those sore little gums of yours. Your poopy diapers are out of this world toxic and pollute the air we breathe every time. Dang solid food.

You. Love. Kisses. You give them freely. We'll have to talk about that when you're older.

There are so many things you're learning and I love it. I am in awe of you, Gem. I love watching your personality form and I think you're going to be one sassy lady. You're going to be a handful. A sweet one, though.

I love you so much baby girl and I'm excited to share more of the world with you as you grow. In 6 more months, you'll be ONE! Let's not think about that yet....

All of my love,
Mama

My Growing Girl

My sweet girl-

You're approaching 6 months and I can't believe what a milestone this is in your very young life. There are so many things you're learning and you're growing like a weed! Part of growing is getting teeth! Teething has been so rough for you lately and it breaks my heart to see you in even the slightest bit of pain or discomfort. You also have a mild case of eczema and the winter's cold, dry weather doesn't really help. There has been one thing that helps you relax and feel better: bathtime. You love a good bath. You don't mind water in your face and you love to splash with your hands and feet. You're in the water for about 10 minutes and you get a little upset when I take you out to dry. After you settle down, you are so cuddly and that's my favorite.

Your hair is the funniest thing. It's fuzzy and sticks straight up! You're definitely not bald. You have the SOFTEST cheeks!! So kissable. And those dimples....

You love playing with water. You drink it, sniff it, splash, jump in it. If you could live in the kitchen sink, you'd be one happy camper.

I can't believe you're sitting up on your own either. 

You are beautiful my little baby girl and you are such a light. I'm so thankful I can spend most of my time taking care of you and watching you grow. And yes, I will keep naked baby photos to a minimum from now on..... maybe.

Love you always,

Mama

Deep In The Heart Of Texas

Gem!

You are growing so fast! You are already 3 months old! Slow the heck down, girlfriend!

A couple of weeks ago, I took you on your first airplane ride to visit Ammie & Papa for Ammie's (40th) birthday. By the time you are actually able to read this, your Ammie will actually look 40 instead of 25. Sometimes, people think we are sisters and that I AM the older one. WHAT!

Anyway...

Back to the flight. You did so well! You slept, ate and cooed sweetly at the ladies next to us. You are always a huge hit with folks. You love to talk and smile- you smile all the time. We landed in Texas and the moment we walked out of the airport, it felt like someone opened a massive heated oven. Neither of us stopped sweating until we left. Sweat aside, we had so much fun with Ammie and Papa. We ate Tex-Mex (I'm assuming you loved it- I'm positive you could taste the difference in your milk) and all of the other beloved Texas foods we lack in Tennessee.

You have a special bond with Ammie. You respond to her as if you know exactly who she is and what she is saying. She read books to you and you LOVED it. She sang songs with you. The two of you took naps, went shopping, had girl talk. It was the sweetest. You were even into watching the final season of Gossip Girl with us (xoxo).

We made a trip to the next town over to see your Uncle Alex, his new condo and where he will be finishing up college. He played guitar and you were so amused. You even cooed along with him. Our hearts melted. You have a way of doing that frequently. 

I'm thankful for the 10 days we spent with Ammie & Papa and your uncles too. It was such a special time and I'll treasure that always. I'm also thankful that we have an incredible family who loves, cares and supports us daily. Makes life so much better.

Love you dearly sweet girl,
Mama