Walking the Walk

Oh my little love!

Yesterday, you took your first steps and I'm feeling every feeling. I feel excited for you! You are about to discover a new sense of freedom to explore what you want where you want. I feel proud of you! You are really doing it on your own and so young, too. You are brave little one. I feel thankful! I'm thankful you are going just fine and your little legs are working just right. I feel sad! MY BABY GIRL IS WALKING WHICH MEANS SHE'S NOT A BABY BUT A TODDLER. I feel happy! Happy that you are mine.

I feel that every time I get used to all of the changes we've gone through, something else (or everything else) changes once again all at the same time. It's hard to keep up. This week is one of those times. I recently made the decision to go back to work and find a job that allows me some time to feel productive but not consume every moment that I'm with you. That lead us to finding you a nanny, which I'm still struggling with. I also started taking photos again...and not just of your precious face. Yesterday was my first shoot in a long time AND THEN YOU TOOK YOUR FIRST STEPS. I know this seems trivial but it's a lot for me. I'll adjust but goodness, it was just a year ago that you were content in my belly. I'm going to go interrupt your playtime now and cuddle you so good.

Love you always,
Mama

My Thoughts + Your Gibberish

My darling girl,

I was sitting in your bedroom watching you play in your crib and thinking about the meaning of each gibberish word you said. You're so confident in what you're trying to communicate. You look at me as if I should know. I feel like the phrase, "Duh, Mom" is not far off from your word-bank. I look forward to the conversations we'll have one day. When you start learning about the world around you and the people in it. It's going to be wild and great.

I feel as though these days of you pleasantly playing in your crib are numbered. You will soon be walking and running and this crib will not be able to contain your busyness. It's hard not to harp on your rapid growth. It's probably all I talk about. You are probably all I talk about. You're kind of my life right now. You encompass every aspect of who I am, what I do, how I live. Motherhood is wild. Truly a rude awakening for selfishness. It kind of automatically takes over. One day soon, I'll start to discover who I am again apart from you. Who I want to be, what I'd like to do and pursue for myself. To be honest, it's a little terrifying and slightly overwhelming to think about but I'm looking forward to it just the same.

In the meantime, I'm relishing every moment I have with you. Being with you 24/7 is such an honor, Gem. A lot of mothers wish they could do the same for their babes. I'm so thankful that we are able to have this time to build our special bond. You are so dear to me and the love I have for you has no end. You are my precious gem.

Always,
Mama

Just The Two Of Us.

10 Months.

You are fascinating. I watch you every day. More like observe. You're curious. Brave. Happy. Silly. Loving. All things good. Your teeth coming in have been the ongoing trial in your life and I know it's no easy feat. Your overall countenance is pleasurable, but girlfriend, you are killing me with this waking up at 6am the past several days. It's truly my only qualm with you young lady. SIX IN THE MORNING. Aye yai yai. You are a peach at bedtime. You give me kisses and go with dad into your room, lay your head on his shoulder and curl up in his lap with Lion. It's the sweetest thing. But then 6am comes and I hear you start to stir. I tell myself that if I just keep my eyes closed, you'll think to yourself "Gee, mama is still sleeping. Her eyes are closed. I should probably go back to sleep and not wake her." But you don't. We get up and start the day. It works for now but honey, you are aging me each morning.

The last time we had a real photo taken of us was when you were born which is a complete shame. If I could take wonderful, non-iphone photos of our family on the reg, I would. But yesterday, our friend Austin Lord, photographed us at home for Johnson & Johnson. You were a ham, per usual. You loved his watch and were definitely a little flirt. I'm telling you: KID LEASH UNTIL YOU'RE 21. You think I'm kidding but don't doubt your mother. 

These photos are so dear to me. We have fun together. Except for right now because as I'm typing this, you are pulling out all of your books on your bookcase and one just fell on your leg where you have a bruise from previous incident. Your first bruise. Big deal. Now you're crying and shouting my name. No time for spell check or grammar check. I'm coming. 

Love you dearly my beautiful girl,

Mama